Dear Lancaster University

Dear Lancaster University

I am writing to you in the first instance to warn you that a rather large camper van is arriving later containing many items.

These include 200+ books of varying sizes, a whole mountain of clothing (I know it is a mountain as it used to reside in one of the bedrooms - you will be pleased to note that most of it is clean!), various kitchen implements (unused), many DVDs, a rock ( yes - you did read that correctly!) and a blue cat called Stufer ( not real). The van also contains a rather lovely, strange, intelligent and unique girl who goes by the name of Jasmine. Yes, that is green hair and yes, she is a Dr Who freak.

Until recently she resided in an upstairs hovel, err sorry, BEDROOM in our house. To be fair, the bed was never truly visible and in fact most of the room was inaccessible but she could be found there on a regular basis - if you looked hard enough. Now though, she is not upstairs, or clogging the shower with her mass of hair, or leaving her leg shavings in the sink, or eating all the chocolate in the house, or singing loudly in front of the computer. No. She is on her way to you.

I also need you to warn the various presidents of such clubs as Table Top Roleplayers, Glee Club and especially the Harry Potter Society that she is on her way with plans to take over and for God's sake - if you value your sanity - please sort her into Slytherin house. Definitely not Gryffindor. Not ever.

I tell you all this not to warn you of impending doom but to let you know that you are receiving a treasure. I am entrusting her into your hands. Challenge her, give her goals, raise the bar and give her new and exciting experiences. I know that she will rise to the challenge. I know this because she is my daughter and I am so very proud of everything she has already achieved. I also know that she is capable of great things. Maybe evil - but great nonetheless.

Most of all though, above and beyond everything else, please keep her safe. She is one of two of the most precious things I have in my life (the other being her younger sister) and her safety is paramount.

Also, If you know of anyway to get her to eat more fruit and vegetables I will be eternally grateful.



Yours faithfully

Mrs V J Chatfield (mother of Jasmine Chatfield aka Evil Dark Lord of All - EDLOA for short)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Comments

[Jason @ gold work embroidery]

Ha ha ha ha ha.

That is actually one of the funniest letters I have read on the internet! And sadly true for the majority of girls going to Uni.

My daughter went to Lancaster (actually Ormskirk but it's affiliated so she tells me!) and had a great time.

Her flat she now lives with her (geeky) boyfriend is no different to the rooms they lived in at Uni - Dr.Who models everywhere, books and dvds line the walls - and don't start on the bedroom!

Sound familiar?

Hope she is doing OK though!